


You Bring the Bitter Taste to a Halt

by mistilteinn



Series: Nedgene College AU [3]
Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Character Development, M/M, Road Trip, feelings talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistilteinn/pseuds/mistilteinn
Summary: Eugene's feelings intensify. He learns how to deal with them.





	You Bring the Bitter Taste to a Halt

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this was just supposed to be a super short and cute break before I wrote something longer and more in depth. The next thing I knew, I was scouring Yelp for the best places to eat fried chicken in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Go figure.
> 
> You know the drill at this point - if your name is in the tags, this isn't for you. Unbeta'd, as per usual.
> 
> (title from "sweetener" by Ariana Grande)

The semester ended on a surprisingly high note for Eugene. He was expecting to keep up a 4.0 GPA (due, in part, to Ned’s perfectionism in their shared science class), he’d be flying out to France to visit his mother after New Years, and he was about to embark on what his friends liked to call “The Ultimate Best Friends’ Best Roadtrip Across America.” (Really, he and Ned were driving Keith and Zach home on their way to Florida.)

Each guy got something to be in charge of: Keith was supervising all snack procurement and food budget, Zach was making the playlists and finding road trip games to play, and Ned was in charge of navigation. As for Eugene? He got to pick every place that they stayed overnight, a job that he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with.

They planned to leave early in the morning on December 15th, taking Interstate 80 all the way across the U.S., first dropping Keith off in Chicago, then dropping Zach off in New York City. Once they were out of the city, they planned to take I-95 straight down to Jacksonville, arriving sometime on the 20th or 21st, depending on how the previous days went.

Eugene was impressed, but not surprised, by Ned’s attention to detail on their route - he went so far as to look up where their main roads historically got congested over the holidays and to plan multiple alternate courses if the need should arise. Eugene was pretty sure that Ned stressed about the road trip more than he stressed about some of his finals.

The last day of finals was going to be pretty relaxed for all of them - both Zach and Keith had to turn in a paper for one of their classes at midnight, but they were all free to pack and hang out for the rest of the day. They decided beforehand that everyone would spend the night at Eugene’s apartment so that they could leave bright and early. Unfortunately, leaving bright and early meant that they couldn’t get drunk and stay up all night like Keith initially suggested.

Eugene’s roommate finished his finals on Wednesday, a feat that Eugene was sure was accomplished due to witchcraft of some kind. When Ryan left to pick up Shane on Wednesday night to drive down to LA, Eugene and Ned were studying for their chemistry final (making out) in Eugene’s room. Ryan knocked hesitantly in order to say goodbye.

Eugene hurriedly straightened his shirt and ran his hands through his hair before getting up to answer. Ned didn’t even bother, coming up to the door behind Eugene with glassy eyes and hickeys dotting his neck.

Ryan’s eyes darted between the two of them for a moment before settling on Eugene. “Hey, I just wanted to say bye before I left. And, like, happy holidays.”  
Eugene smiled, leaning to one side of the doorframe. “Thanks so much, Ryan. Hope you have a nice drive back home. You’re taking Shane?”

“Yeah, but, like, just for a couple of days. His flight to Schaumburg is next Monday, so it just makes sense for him to stay over.” Ryan struggled, clearly fighting a healthy flush. He and Eugene had gotten drunk one night over the semester and talked in depth about their sexualities, but Eugene wasn’t sure how much Ryan actually remembered from that night, so he wasn’t about to push it.

He nodded sagely just as Ned interjected, “So he’s gonna meet your family? That sounds pretty special,” he continued, enjoying the way that Ryan had suddenly gone white as a sheet and ignoring Eugene’s stony glare. “This guy,” he playfully poked Eugene’s waist, “is meeting my parents this break too. How’s Shane doing? Is he nervous?”

Ryan played dumb. “Why-why would he be nervous? He’s my bro, y’know? We’re just two bros, hangin’ out with my family. Nothing special about that.”

Eugene dropped his gaze, not wanting to embarrass Ryan further. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. Ned’s just overly sentimental, you know that. Well, we both hope that you guys have a nice break. Thanks for saying bye before you left.”

His roommate chanced a smile at Ned and addressed Eugene, “I hope you’re not nervous about meeting Ned’s family. If they’re anything like Ned, I’m sure you’ll love them. Not that you love Ned! Unless you do? Whatever, it’s none of my business - just have a good break! Good luck with your finals! See you in January!”

\---

Ryan knew that the other three guys were staying over and was fine with it - he’d known Ned longer than Eugene had, and Zach was actually running their fantasy football league this year. Apparently, Keith and Shane knew each other somehow as well, something about the both of them doing some kind of gross food eating contest for charity each fall.

Eugene spent the morning helping Ned pack on campus. After they finished, they met Keith and Zach for lunch. The first time that Eugene had invited Ned to lunch with Zach and Keith, he’d been anxious about the prospect of his best friends not getting along with someone who was rapidly becoming one of the most important people in his life.

Within the first few minutes, those fears had proven baseless. Ned just fit into their group, filling a space that none of them had known even existed. Now, Eugene couldn’t imagine not having him around - a realization was unsettling for a number of reasons.

Today Ned was sitting next to him, teasing Zach about his fantasy football team while he and Keith chatted (argued) across the table about everyone’s Hogwarts houses.  
“I’m just saying,” Keith took a swig of his soda and continued, “Ned’s definitely a Gryffindor, and you’re a Slytherin.”

“No way!” Eugene knew he was getting heated, but Keith was _wrong,_ and he needed to know it. “You’re basically trying to tell me that Harry Potter’s a power bottom for Malfoy! That’s not how the Slytherin-Gryffindor dynamic works!”

Ned froze with his fork halfway to his mouth, staring at Eugene. Zach started choking on his burger hard enough that Keith had to thump him between the shoulder blades.

Eugene realized what he said and blinked, immediately trying to do damage control. “Oh, fuck. Did I - Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to - that phrase has a certain context -”

Ned put his hand up, shaking his head. When he spoke, he just sounded tired. “Well, now that Keith and Zach know the down ‘n dirty details of our relationship - I, for one, am really looking forward to spending sixty hours in a cramped car with them.”

Keith turned to look at Zach and put his hand out, eyebrow raised. Zach swore and pulled his wallet out, shoving a twenty dollar bill into Keith’s hand.

Ned looked horrified. “What the _fuck,_ you guys had a bet on who tops? Jesus, we need boundaries.”

“Oh, no no no no, nothing like that,” Keith explained, shaking his head and waving his hands. “We just had a bet going on how long it would take Eugene to unintentionally tell us something terrifyingly intimate about your relationship. I bet that it would happen before the end of the semester, and Zach thought it would happen during the road trip.”

Zach shook his head as he stabbed his cooked carrots, muttering. “So close - less than twenty-four hours off. Bullshit is what it is.”

“Oh. Uh, okay?” Ned looked perplexed, turning to Eugene for guidance. “That’s fine then, I guess?”

Eugene just shrugged weakly. “I’m really sorry,” he tried again. Ned rolled his eyes, gave him a small smile, and put a hand over his on the table.

“It’s okay. Just - please don’t tell either of our families. Especially over a meal like this.” Eugene nodded frantically. Ned continued, trying to impress the importance of what he was saying, “I don’t even think my grandma knows what a power bottom _is,_ and I _really_ don’t want her to shout at Alexa to google it while we’re all at the table.”

Despite himself, Eugene started to giggle, covering his mouth. Ned pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to look disapproving but broke when Keith and Zach started cackling across the table. Soon they were all struggling to contain their laughter, drawing stares from across the dining hall.

They had just started to calm down when Eugene clapped his hand over his eyes. “Oh my god, that’s all I’m going to be able to think about when I meet her!”

\---

The next morning, Eugene was woken up - not by his alarm, nor by Ned’s soft hair tickling his nose - but by Keith waltzing into his room, singing “Shower time, shower time, shower time, shower time, shower shower shower time! Time to get up, get in the shower and clean up!”

“Noooooo...” he groaned, pulling the pillow over his head and kicking his feet.

Ned sat up, blinking the sleep from his eyes, and yawned dramatically. He crawled out of bed, pulling Eugene’s hand as he went. “Come on, sleepy. The giant said it’s shower time, so we gotta shower.”

Eugene perked up at that, raising his head from the pillows with a lifted brow. “...together?”

Ned shot a look at Keith, who answered. “Well, that’s my cue to leave, so…” He backed out of the bedroom quickly. As soon as he was out of eyesight, they both heard him call down the hallway, “Zach! We’ve got time for that Popeyes run! They’re gonna fuck in the shower! Grab Eugene’s keys and let’s go!”

Ned sucked his cheeks in, looking at the ground in front of him. When he let out a breath, he looked back up at Eugene, eyes unreadable. “I’m glad that our friends are so....supportive of our sex life.”

Eugene smiled at him uncomfortably. “I can talk to them. They’ll - tone it down.”

Ned shrugged and pulled off his shirt, leaving him in boxer briefs. “Honestly, it doesn’t really bother me - they’re not judgmental at all. It’s just...really different. Now - come on, let’s take a shower before they get back. I really don’t want to hear them complain about us taking forever in the bathroom together.”

Eugene nodded and got up, trying not to openly stare at his boyfriend. He’d seen Ned in various states of undress dozens of times, but he still treasured every glimpse. He followed Ned to the bathroom, watching the way his hips swayed as he walked. “Sexy Fulmer strikes again,” he muttered.

Ned stopped short, turning back to him, face pink. “Shut the fuck up, or I’ll lock you out.” Eugene put up his hands in surrender, and the younger smirked, shaking his head, and turned the water on. They brushed their teeth while waiting for the water to heat up.

In the shower, Eugene ended up blowing Ned. He had no problem going to his knees for him, and truth be told, he quite liked when Ned got a little bossy. Being able to manhandle him was all well and good, but it was twice as fun knowing that Ned could manhandle him right back.

By the time Keith and Zach returned (replete with breakfast biscuits for all), both men were dressed and had brought their bags out to the living room, where they were folding the blankets that Keith and Zach had used the night before.

Over breakfast, Ned went over the schedule he’d so lovingly created. “Right, so we’ll leave around nine. Barring bad traffic, we’ll stop for the evening around six - we should be in the middle of Nevada by then.”

Eugene didn’t argue, though he knew that he could drive longer than ten hours and be fine - all he needed was some cold brew and he’d be good to go. They’d discuss that when the time came.

After breakfast, they packed the car and got on the road. Zack had curated no fewer than eight 10-hour Spotify playlists, organized by genre, song length, and general ambiance, and he seemed excited to play his music for everyone.

Of the four of them, Eugene probably had the most _out there_ taste. He wasn’t expecting to hear any of his favorite music, so he was surprised and touched when the first playlist started and Korean pop was heavily featured.

He and Ned sang along loudly (he’d played K-Pop for Ned once, and all of a sudden it was like he was an expert) while Keith and Zach made up choreography from the back seat. Fortunately, they didn’t hit much traffic, so they’d gotten pretty far by the time it was someone else’s turn to drive.

Ned was the second driver; he was a bit more careful than Eugene was, a bit more likely to drive the actual speed limit. Around 12:30, Zach got out his game of Madlibs, and they started playing, trying to out-gross each other and create the most disturbing story of all time.

They stopped for lunch after a couple of games at a place Keith found on Yelp (filtered for one dollar sign only, of course). The food was fine, though they were all worried that Zach or Keith accidentally ingested some dairy.

It was Keith’s turn to drive then, and Eugene and Ned were in the back seat for the first time. Eugene took the opportunity to have a nap, resting his head on Ned’s shoulder. He dozed off listening to the other three play the alphabet game.

He woke up when they stopped for gas around 3, getting up to stretch his legs and go to the bathroom. It was Zach’s turn to drive after that, so he was glad that he’d already taken a nap. Ned fell asleep on his shoulder, and he pulled out a battered copy of Dracula to flick through while he tried not to listen to Keith FaceTiming Becky.

At five, it was his turn to drive again. He decided not to wake up Ned, instead to just switch seats with Zach. They weren’t as far as he’d hoped to be at this point - he wanted to stay overnight in Elko, but that was still a few hours away. Maybe Ned would stay asleep and he’d be able to drive straight there without any objections.

Like clockwork, Ned woke up as soon as they got back on the highway. Eugene looked at him briefly in the rearview mirror, trying not to smile at his rumpled appearance. The half smile dropped abruptly off of his face when the younger looked around and asked, “Hey, we’re stopping soon, right? Battle Mountain is coming up, and we’ve been on the road for a while today.”

Eugene took a breath. He knew that he had to say something now. “Honey, I was thinking that we’d go until we get to Elko. I know it’s a little farther, but it makes sense to do it this way.”

Keith and Zach were both silent. They could sense the potential for an argument to occur, and neither wanted to be caught in the crossfire.

Ned looked sleepy and confused. “But Battle Mountain puts us at 10 hours - all of the studies that I read said that the optimal amount of time to spend driving in a single day is 9-10 hours.” He looked so good with stubble growing in and his hair just a bit too long - Eugene had to remind himself not to just give in and do what he asked.

“Yes, I remember, honey. But there’s nowhere for us to stay at Battle Mountain. They don’t have any Air BnBs. We’ll be stuck sleeping in the car or we’ll have to stop an hour early.”

Ned frowned at him, suspicious of the pet name. “I get that, sweetie, but I’m just concerned about our safety. I’d rather get less driving done and know that you’re safe.”

Eugene sighed, wishing that one of the other guys would cut in. He knew they wouldn’t. _Traitors._ “I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t want to lose that time today. Plus Elko’s got a really nice Air BnB that’s only like a hundred dollars - it’s a guest house _and_ it’s got two bedrooms!”

He could see that Ned was thinking about it. The multiple bedrooms bit was very tempting, he knew. Ned didn’t want anyone stuck on a couch any more than was absolutely necessary.

He stayed quiet while Ned thought, hesitant to risk saying something wrong and risk shooting himself in the foot. The car was eerily silent but for the quiet Ariana Grande that Zach had playing. Finally, Ned spoke. “Okay. But you’re only driving until we stop for dinner. I’ll take a turn after that - I got to rest longer than you.”

Eugene felt a rush of affection for the younger and smiled at him in the rearview mirror. His heart jumped when Ned returned the smile. “Deal,” he promised.

—-

Their Air BnB was pretty great that night. Both bedrooms had a queen sized bed, which meant that Keith could almost lie on it without his feet hanging over the edge, and the mattresses were nice, so Zach could drift off to sleep quickly.

Even though they had more room than ever before, Ned and Eugene still ended up half on top of each other as they cuddled. They fell asleep watching Planet Earth, and that night Eugene dreamt of himself as a predator, hunting his friends in the woods. Some part of him wanted to warn them of the danger, but he was enjoying the stalk too much to try to save them from him.

When he woke up, it was still dark out and he was covered in a cold sweat. He stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom, where he sat on the side of the tub with his head in his hands.

After a few minutes, he heard a shuffling outside the door and a hesitant knock. He sniffled and wiped his face before opening it and came face to face with Ned, looking soft and concerned.

“What happened?” He asked, voice a bit rough with sleep, “why aren’t you in bed?”

“I’m just -“ Eugene started and stopped, not knowing how to explain his dream, or even if he wanted to. “Nothing’s wrong, you can go back to bed. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Ned’s gaze focused on him and he wrinkled his brow. “Hold on, have you been crying? What’s wrong?”

“No I haven’t,” Eugene denied instinctively. He sounded cold and dismissive even to his own ears. “Nothing’s wrong. Go back to bed.”

All at once Ned’s expression turned to one of hurt. He blinked at Eugene and clenched his jaw, nodding sharply before turning away from the bathroom door and disappearing back into their bedroom. The soft blue light from the television abruptly shut off.

When Eugene looked into the mirror, he hated what he saw. He looked down into the sink, disgusted, and ran the faucet, rinsing his face before joining Ned in bed.

When he crawled in, the younger didn’t scoot closer so that he was forced to be the big spoon. Ned didn’t acknowledge him at all. He sighed and stared at the ceiling, willing himself to go back to sleep.

The next morning, Eugene woke up way too early. He felt like garbage for pushing Ned away the night before. He laid in bed, the younger on his stomach next to him, and rubbed his back gently.

Ned sighed sleepily and turned to face him, snuggling close. Eugene hoped that they would just move past his shittiness from the night before.

Ned’s eyes cracked open, regarding him for a moment. “Are you still mad?”

“Jesus - I wasn’t, I’m not mad. I just -” he felt like the world’s biggest asshole, and now he was embarrassed for making such a big deal out of the stupid dream. “I had a bad dream, and I’m so sorry that I was a dick to you about it.”

Ned frowned and rested his head on his chin. “That’s not _okay,_ dude. I was really worried about you. Even if you don’t want to talk to me about it, at least let me know what’s going on.” He paused, embarrassed, “I came back here and had nothing but the worst scenarios running through my mind. It was awful.”

Eugene stayed silent for a moment, guilt flooding through him. “I’m sorry. I’ll. I’ll work on it.”

Ned reached over and took his hand. “Thank you. I want to be there for you, but I can’t if I never know what’s going on.”

Breakfast was their leftovers from the night before as well as the fancy coffee that their Air BnB host left for them. The meal was uncharacteristically quiet, though that could be attributed to the early hour at which they were eating.

They were driving to Cheyenne, Wyoming that day. Eugene had found a lovely house for $20 each, and it allowed them to stop before they hit 10 hours on the road.

They were setting out at eight am so as to have some time to explore the city and go out before they went to bed. After quietly packing the car, they left, Eugene driving first again. Keith and Ned fell asleep almost immediately, squished into the back seat together.

Eugene was usually one to enjoy silence, but it was grating today. He surreptitiously looked over at Zach, who was doing something on his phone. “Hey,” he said in a low tone.

“What?” Zach asked, clearly only half listening.

“You, uh, you ever hurt someone you care about?” He swallowed and continued. “Not, like, on purpose. Or like BDSM gone wrong. Just like, you say something shitty and they’re hurt.”

He looked over at Zach again, who was now staring at him. “Uh, yeah, didn’t assume you meant like 'BDSM gone wrong,' you fucking weirdo.” Eugene glared and turned back to the road, regretting having said anything.

Zach sighed and continued, a bit softer, “I mean, of course I have. I was a little Jewish guy growing up in New York City. I hurt my parents all the time.”

Eugene made a face. He’d hurt his parents plenty of times too. “Yeah, but, I mean more like.” He cleared his throat and jerked his head to the back to indicate Ned.

Zach’s mouth formed a perfect O as he turned to the backseat and considered Eugene’s sleeping boyfriend. “I think I need more context. What happened?”

Eugene pursed his mouth and thought before answering. “I was upset over something stupid last night and Ned came over to comfort me and I might have snapped at him and told him to go to bed.”

When Eugene next looked over at Zach, his friend was thinking. After a prolonged period of silence, Zach replied. “Yeah, that wasn’t very cash money of you.” Eugene snorted, despite himself, but Zach stayed serious, shaking his head. “Not a great way to handle him showing concern. Do you know what you were feeling when he came to check on you?”

“Uhh,” Eugene said eloquently. “I guess I was...scared?”

Zach nodded, looking out the car window. “Why were you scared?”

Eugene unclenched his jaw and forced himself to answer. “I was afraid that he would take what I told him and use it as ammunition later on.”

Zach turned to him sharply. “Has he done that before? Does he do that to you?”

Eugene shook his head and answered, miserable. “No, he doesn’t. He hasn’t.”

“Well… Has he ever given you the impression that he would?”

“No.”

“Sitting here right now, going over all of your past interactions with him, do you honestly think that he would ever do that to you?” Zach wasn’t asking in a judgmental way - he was being sincere. He gave Eugene time to think about it before answering.

“Honestly? I can’t imagine him being spiteful like that at all. He’s never been anything but patient and supportive.”

Zach nodded, unsurprised. He replied, “Maybe, then, the next time you feel scared to tell him something or to open up, try to consider how good he’s always been to you instead of how mean he could possibly be at some point in time?”

Eugene nodded, horribly embarrassed by the emotions welling up within him. Zach continued, “I’m not saying he needs to know absolutely everything, all the time, but maybe try not to shut him out. Give him the opportunity to support you.”

Eugene glanced into the rearview mirror to where Ned was snoring softly, head leaning against the window. “You’re right.”

\---

Everyone was still subdued when they got to Cheyenne that evening. They dropped their bags in the house that they were staying at and showered while Keith found them a place to eat. He decided on a place called 2 Doors Down, and they had some truly memorable burgers. Keith, of course, substituted his for a fried chicken sandwich.

Afterward, they all got a Lyft to the Cadillac Ranch Bar to drink and dance. They’d bought some cheap cowboy hats in Salt Lake City, so they each threw on one of Keith’s numerous plaid shirts and went all out.

Did they draw stares? Absolutely. Did their fake IDs work? Barely. Did they try to imitate cowboy accents? You bet. Did Eugene almost get into a fight with a ranch owner because Zach was dancing with his wife? It wouldn’t have been a night out if he didn’t.

They tumbled out of the bar at 2 am, called their ride, and got back to their Air BnB in due time.

In bed, Eugene uncharacteristically tucked Ned’s head under his chin and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry I shut you out last night,” he started, sounding indeed very upset (and indeed very drunk). “’m learning how to do better. Are you mad at me?”

Ned shook his head, shuffling closer. When he answered, his words were slightly slurred. “Not mad. Jus’ wanna take care of you. I love you so much.”  
Eugene’s mouth snapped shut in shock. Ned felt him freeze and sat up, looking down at him, illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through their window. He looked young and vulnerable.

Eugene brought his hand up to cradle the younger man’s cheek. “I know you do,” he said honestly. “I love you too.”

Ned smiled goofily, nuzzling into his hand before snuggling up to him once more. “Yee-haw, partner!”

Eugene groaned and pushed him away, “Ugh, I take it back. Go sleep with Keith and Zach.”

Ned just held on tighter and murmured, “Nooooooo…”

\---

Breakfast the next day was a somber affair. Everyone was horribly hungover except for Eugene, who woke up much like he did every day.

But even he was quiet, as he considered the conversation with Ned from the night before. His first instinct was to deny that it had ever happened, but he knew that morning when he woke up that it was the truth.

Ned looked at him for a moment during breakfast, a soft smile in his eyes, before his expression changed. He jumped up and sprinted to the bathroom. Eugene ended up following him to rub his back while he threw up.

As the only able body, he took the first shift driving out of Cheyenne. The other three all slept for hours, for which he was grateful. The silence gave him space to think.

He didn’t think that he’d ever loved someone besides his family. He wasn’t even sure what “love” entailed in the romantic sense - was he supposed to bring Ned flowers? Was that only something done for women? Was he supposed to bring flowers for Ned’s family? What if he hated them? What if they hated him?

The whole thing was much easier when it was just hooking up. But, truth be told, he couldn’t bring himself to wish that was still the case. He looked at Ned, shifting in the passenger seat, and saw someone he would be lucky to spend the rest of his life with.

\---

Keith was the first to wake up, about four hours into Day 3. He insisted on driving, though Eugene was fine, and stopped for gas after about an hour. Eugene decided to wake up Ned, as Zach too had awoken by that point, and Eugene selfishly wanted to share the backseat with his boyfriend.

At the rest stop, Eugene led Ned to a group of picnic tables and sat on one. Ned sat down next to him without prompting. He took a few moments to look out at the trees ahead of them and thought about what he wanted to say.

“How much do you remember from last night?” He eventually asked.

Ned scratched his stubble, brow scrunched. “I remember pulling you away from that scary cowboy.”

Eugene laughed, shaking his head. “I meant after that - when we got back to the room.”

“Um, not much, really. Why - what’s up?”

They made eye contact, and Eugene decided to keep his realization to himself for the time being. Let Ned catch up with _Eugene’s_ healthy realization of feelings for once.

“Nothing urgent - you were just in the middle of telling me a story and I wasn’t sure how the ending went.”

The younger man laughed, “Drunk Ned at it again.” Eugene laughed with him, throwing his arm over his shoulders.

After a few more minutes, they heard Keith and Zach calling for them and loped back to the car together.

They spent the night in Newton, Iowa. Eugene found yet another great deal on a full house for about a hundred dollars. They stayed in that night, too exhausted to go out. They would be to Chicago before noon the next day, and then Keith would be gone, so they spent the evening playing Cards Against Humanity and eating junk food.

They all ended up falling asleep in the living room - Keith spread out on the floor, Eugene sitting in the armchair, Ned sitting on the floor between his legs with his head resting on Eugene's lap, and Zach sprawled over the couch.

The morning went by slowly - Ned had a crick in his neck, Zach’s back hurt, and Keith couldn’t find the food that he had packed for breakfast, so they had to stop at a grocery store and eat on the road.

But even though the coffee was awful and they were all sore, Eugene had a great time. They played several rounds of Madlibs, making each other laugh harder and harder each time. Eugene and Zach sang along to the Ariana Grande album while Ned and Keith played an increasingly disturbing game of “Would You Rather?”.

Meeting Keith’s family was surreal - Zach already knew them from freshman orientation the year before, but Eugene was stunned to realize just how similar Keith and his father were.

They hung out for about an hour, eating lunch with Keith’s family and making sure that he had everything out of the car. At about one, they packed up once more and headed out, car quieter.

They stopped for the night around seven in Youngstown, Ohio. The town was pretty quiet, so all three guys decided to turn in early. They were only six hours from New York, so they’d be getting to Zach’s parents’ place in the afternoon sometime on the nineteenth.

Zach drove most of the way through Pennsylvania. He insisted that they take a detour into Amish country for lunch. They got stuck behind a horse-drawn buggy for several miles and lost at least a half an hour that way - Zach flat out refused to pass it until there was a line of several cars behind them, all honking their horns. Eugene laughed so hard at him that he got a headache.

They dropped Zach off in the early afternoon, despite the unexpected delay. Eugene hugged him before they left, trying to silently let him know how much he appreciated the pep talk from a couple of days before.

\---

New York City was about fourteen hours from Jacksonville. Eugene planned to drive at least four more hours after they dropped off Zach so that they would arrive at Ned’s house on the twentieth, rather than spending another night on the road.

Unfortunately, Washington D.C. was almost exactly four hours from New York City, and neither Eugene nor Ned wanted to stay there any longer than was absolutely necessary.

“It just _feels_ unfriendly,” Ned said, peering out the window at the squat, but somehow still imposing buildings.

Eugene scowled at what he thought might be the White House but was probably one of the Smithsonian museums. “I get what you mean. All of the places around here are expensive as shit.”

Then Ned said something that made Eugene’s heart flutter: “Fuck this place, let’s keep driving for a while.”

“Oh my God, do you want a blowjob? I’ll suck your dick right here, I swear to God.” Eugene was only half joking - one of his absolute favorite things was finding out when Ned hated the same things he did. It always turned him on a little.

Ned flushed deeply, flicking his gaze over to Eugene. “Uh, maybe not while I’m driving? We can probably find someplace to pull over, though.”

That was how, under twenty minutes later, Eugene found himself getting Ned off in the back seat. Surprisingly, it was the first time they’d done more than kiss in the car. Unsurprisingly, it kind of sucked. Ned kept knocking the back of his head against the window and Eugene was terribly cramped, his legs and feet on the floor of the car while he crouched awkwardly over Ned’s lap. Eugene was glad that he was fantastic at giving head, because he was over the whole experience in less than five minutes.

They stayed the night at a place in Springfield, Virginia. It was a private room in an occupied house, so they actually met the owners for the first time on the trip.

Dave and Shirley seemed like very nice people - they explained how the television worked, offered to make dinner for Ned and Eugene, and didn’t bat an eye when the couple they were hosting turned out to be two men.

Ned was completely charmed. He joined Shirley in the kitchen, listening to her chatter about her neices and nephews, and helping her decorate the numerous holiday cookies she was baking.

Eugene, on the other hand, sat in the living room, watching an old movie with Dave. The older man was pretty quiet, only speaking to ask if Eugene wanted a whiskey when he got one for himself.

When they left the following morning, Shirley gave them two dozen Christmas cookies (“Half for the road, half for your family!”) and Dave clapped Eugene on the shoulder, promising to always have a glass ready for him if he stopped by again.

Their last day on the road passed by slowly. Unfortunately, it seemed like all of the traffic that they’d miraculously missed on the previous days caught up with them, and what should have been only nine hours on the road became almost twelve.

They spent much of the time in companionable silence - Eugene read his battered paperbacks when it was his turn to take a break, and Ned watched the Premier League matches on his phone when he was in the passenger seat.

Whenever the traffic was at a standstill, they played a game where they each had to imitate a famous person and try to get the other to guess who they were.  
Ned’s terrible impression of Robert De Niro was a winner - after Eugene guessed incorrectly for the third time, Ned’s impersonation devolved into him just shouting _“Fuggetaboutit!”_ over and over.

They arrived in Jacksonville after nine pm - several hours after Eugene had initially wanted to. Still, they were there on the twentieth. They’d made it.  
Ned’s parents’ house was adorable and exactly what Eugene pictured. A single story, well-maintained, and decorated with slightly over the top holiday decorations. Faced with the prospect of meeting Ned’s family, Eugene felt lightheaded with anxiety. He hesitated for a moment, looking up at the bright red front door.

Then Ned gripped his hand softly and looked up at him, the Christmas lights reflecting off of his eyes, and Eugene knew that there was nothing to be afraid of in that house.

“I love you so much,” Eugene said.

There was a small smile playing across Ned’s mouth. “I know you do. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> S/O to Hannah Hart for getting Ned drunk enough to shout “I’m the power bottom pizza!” Not saying that this whole series was inspired by her fanfic comment, but I’m also not saying that “white girl wasted” Ned ain’t my favorite Ned. 
> 
> (ALSO: Don’t ever use a fake ID. It’s against the law.) 
> 
> (ALSO ALSO: This story is not sponsored by Air BnB - but it COULD BE. Call me, Air BnB.)


End file.
